Lord, You are More than Enough for me...

25th November 2005,

Fri evening- 5.30pm to be exact. Am still in the office, not of really busy, but waiting for the next appointment dinner. Tonite we won't be having Cell Group- instead we'll be meeting with our Iranian friends for dinner at Fishermen's Grill. It's time for catching up and felowship. Not pretty sure what's the plan after dinner, all has been pretty busy with work and other preparation- didn't really follow up on the Iranians. Hope Saeid still remmeber me. It's kinda weird after so long didn't meet up, suddenly we come out with plan for dinner to fill Iranian fellowship. May this time be a fruitful one- that it's just just filling up an assignment, but really extending friendship beyond the circle.

This week has been very relaxing. I spend a whole lot of my time in the room- mostly yahoo-chating, mailing, house-keeping yahoo-mails. Realise that I have too much un-read mail-mostly forwarded mail, some are articles, which i don't have the time to reach..so I save it in my "Inspiration" folder. After house-keeping still a lot mails. Realise that I'm so lazy nowadays...bad bad, got to change and discipline. Basically November is alright, but December will be hectic due to stock take and financial closure. Anticipating a lot clean-up on reporting and documentations.

Tomorrow will be attending Pon's wedding. Wow, this two months so many weddings- Ipoh (Kenneth), then Pon's tomorrow, then John's (Ipoh), and continuously the following weeks Huey Meng's. This year seem to be good year for marriage. Eric's one coming Jan; myself and Alicia gonna help up co-ordinating. Weddings- sharing the joyous occasion seeing how the Lord brought two souls together. Wondering how my wedding gonna be...hmm....learning to be satisfied in single life, to able to be happy as "Single in Married world or Single in Couples world". Never easy with the pressure around, but got to move on life.....I need to be satisfied and content in singlehood...as how Philipian addressed- Phil4:12- I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want..(to add whther in singlehood or married life:)) Treasure what I have today, and live each day as new breath from God with purpose.

Oh Lord, guide me through this journey.

Thank you for each new day,

each breath of the new day that is given to me.

Each freshness of morning dew and stillness of Your enduring Presence,

Let my heart able to speak of your fullness

that You are more than enough for me

May this life I live be a purposeful-being for Your Glory.

Amen...

November....December,.. time flies.

22nd November 2005,

Tuesday- 4.50pm. Time to pack up and go back home. Today has been pretty busy, yesterday on-leave. Nothing much to share in the blog. Life thus far has been good, Praise God. Time flies...it's November, another month December..then Christmas then New Year, I can't believe it! Too fast already, so many things happened, I've been working for 3 years plus. Year pass another year...am I growing in Grace? Growing in maturity in Christ? It's time for Life-Check, or spiritual-Check. Has life been comfortable, am I in anyway being complacent? What's the further committment to make? How should we seize the day in this end time, as the day approaching...something to ponder through.

Ps 90:9-12
9 All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan.
10 The length of our days is seventy years— or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span [a] is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
11 Who knows the power of your anger? For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you.
12 Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Let it be the prayer of our hearts to honour Him with the time-span He has given to us...

I would not Quit!

This is nice article, be blessed...

"I Would not Quit" He Said

One day I decided to quit...
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality...
I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...

"Look around", He said.
"Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds,
I took very good care of them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.

He said.
"In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.
In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.
"I would not quit."
He said."Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.
Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...
But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.

" He said to me.
"Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling,
you have actually been growing roots"
"I would not quit on the bamboo.
I will never quit on you."
"Don't compare yourself to others."

He said.
"The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern.
Yet, they both make the forest beautiful."
"Your time will come", God said to me.
"You will rise high!"
"How high should I rise?" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?"
He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.
"Yes."
He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can.
"I left the forest and bring back this story.

My Dialogue with God

Find this good....read on;

I went to God with all my sorrow, bitterness and frustration."God, oh God, please tell me what do you really want me to do or what you want me to be??" I asked.God led me to a river."Look into the river, my child.""What can you see?""Reflection." I said.God did not say anything but looked into my eyes and smiled. At that moment a thought dawned on me, and I said,"You want me to be a river which reflects your image and goodness."God nodded his head and smiled."But you haven't answer my question yet, God." "Look into the river again, my child." God said.I looked into the river again. And this time I did not see God's reflection but only my reflection in it."What do you see?" God asked.I see myself but not God in the reflection. Another thought dawned on me. For how many times, when I look into the mirror or the river, that I only see myself but not God?It's ! not that God did not show himself, but I chose to see only myself, rather than him. What I wanna see, it's only ME, ME, ME."If you only can see yourself, how will you remember me or my teaching?" God asked with a soft voice, still smiling.I was ashamed, yet I was stubborn, and I'm always stubborn."Yes, Father, I know I always put myself before you for everything, but today I came to you to ask A question, and I just want THE answer."

"Tell me what does the water do, my child." God said, still not answering my question directly."The water?? ...hmmm, the water is always soft and obedient...and no matter what kind of container you pour the water in, the water will matches the shape of the container it is in perfectly.""And how about you?" God turned to me and asked aga! in, with a light twinkling in His eyes.I'm stubborn, I'm not as soft as the water. I just wanna be myself, even though I always promise God I will let Him shape me, but I argue and struggle with Him. I just wanna be whom I wanna be. I want myself to look like what myself want to see.God poured me into a jar, I don't wanna be shaped as the jar, I struggled so hard till I broke the jar.The more I pondered about it, the more I was ashamed of myself. I did not dare to look up nor to answer God.But God heard me and knew me.

He was still smiling, like nothing could possibly upset Him. Like what I have done still not enough to let Him down."Listen to the voice of the river, my child." He said.I closed my eyes and listened attentively.I heard th! e voice of the river running, and all of a sudden I could also hear the singing of the insects and the noise produced by the leaves rubbing against each other when the wind came by.I opened my eyes and found myself standing alone in a deep, thick forest. God is gone."My God, my God, WHERE ARE YOU????!!" I screamed out of horror and fear. Yet I dared not to move even a step."Listen to the voice of the river, my child." God said, still not showing himself.I was such a nervous wreck, yet there was nothing I could do except followed God's instruction.I drew a few deep breath, calmed myself down, closed my eyes again and listened.I could hear the flowing of river again, and this time, a thought flew through my mind and I grabbed ! it before it was gone again.(If I walked along the river, the river will bring me back to the civilization or bring me out of this forest.) So said the thought.I opened my eyes with joy and walked toward the river. But the forest was gone in a second and I was back to the riverside with God standing beside me.God smiled to me again and said,"If you were lost in a deep thick forest, If you would just stop and be still and listen, You would hear the voice of the river -- that's ME.If you would just walked along the river, If you would just followed the river,You would find the way out from the forest -- If you would ju! st follow me and walk along me, You would find THE WAY."I was dumbfounded by God's wisdom and teaching, all I could do was looked at Him in awe.God rubbed my head and said," Did I answer your question yet? If not, come back and see me tomorrow."

Annual Dinner tonite- 15th November 2005

15th November 2005,

Tuesday Morning- tonite will be Annual Dinner, and it's a weekday. A lot has been asking why is that weekdays, usually Annual Dinner should be weekends, yeah, company want to cut cost:) I guess. It'll be real hectic with this sort of programs lining up in the weekdays.

Mundane work for the whole week, need some breakthrough. Still finds difficult in relating to my staff. It's the pressure innerly or pressure outside? I need to overcome this by the change of the thinking, a first step, a smile of warmth, and acceptance of each individuals...not just the strength alone, but also the weakness of different people. The pride need to be pulled down, insecurity? Working the best- and be assured that the Boss Above will reward me accordingly, not according to worldly measures and riches, but according to heavenly riches above. A Change of thinking- Positive thinking and attitude, it's so much needed. I got to not just learn, but have some change and paradigm shift of the thinking.

O Lord, help me. I want to, it's difficult- I know, but I trust You, Your Words and Promises, teach me the basic, and where to begin. .. to love, to motivate, to stir ones up- to be good testimony in workplace that bear Your Name, that You alone be glorified...Amen!

Passion for the Lost

12th November 2005,

Saturday morning- write something before start work. Today Mag and Charmine not around, they attending Pharmacy Scientific Conference in KL, Saturday will have a lot of patients, and prayfully that things will go well. Asked God for heart of wisdom and to be involved in my encounter with work.

Last night All Night Prayer. We watched Mother Theresa's movie. A unselfish life that has been given to God for people. A compassion heart, moved with the needs and people. It remind me on the phrase "You can give without Love, but You can't Love without Giving". She give her whole life- she's into the street, doing whatever she can to save 'one'. No need many- one, as it goes...she start out having the determination to reach out. Step out in faith. We prayed, we pray for heart of compassion. The Spirit of God moved among His people- showing us the basic of all, the basic simple Love- compassion heart. We repented, ...our eyes has been blinded and swayed by the selfish desire of building our own mansion. We have lost the zeal for evangelism- we have failed in many ways. Yeah, the time is near...How should be our response? Is it just a information to stir up the emotion to repent, to cry out and after a while going back to normal, or it's a change of heart, a transformation? How are we responding; to respond-- to act it out. A challenge. But a challenge should not remain jst challenge but some action and change.

Challenged Scripture Heb 12:1-2

1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith,

let us strip off every weight that slows us down,

especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress.

And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us.

2We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus,

on whom our faith depends from start to finish

(New Living Translation)

My Life Declaration

7th November 2005,

Monday morning- Life GAMES is over, and now it's no longer a game, it's Life, and it's gonna move...The Race is ON, the Clock is Ticking. How do we want to choose the Road of Life? How should the runner run? How will be the Reward of life? How do we want to live? The survival Life? The successful life? Or the significant Life? The choice is yours. You choose your way of life. A reflection of life, The past has gone, the new has come...Life Games, a start of new life, new purpose, new focus in life. Oh Lord, here's my declaration. I am willing, I surrender my life to You once again...

***************************
MY LIFE DECLARATION
***************************

Today I am stepping across the line. I'm tired of waffling, and I'm finished with wavering. I've made my choice and my decision is irrevocable. I'm going God's way. There's no turning back now!

I will live the rest of my life serving God's purpose with God's people on God's planet for God's glory. I will use my life to celebrate His presece, cultivate His character, participate in His family, demonstrate His love, and communicate His Word.

Since my past has been forgiven and I have a purpose for living and a home awaiting in heaven, I refuse to waste any more time or energy on shallow living, petty thinking, trivial talking, thoughtless doing, useless regretting, hurtful resenting, or faithless worrying. Instead, I will magnify God, grow to maturity, serve in ministry, and fulfill my mission in the membership of His family.

Because this life is preparation for the next, I will value worship over wealth, "we" over "me", character over comfort, service over status, and people over possessions, position and pleasures. I know what matters most, and I'll give it all I've got. I'll do the best I can with what I have for Jesus Christ today.

I won't be captivated by culture, manipulated by critics, motivated by praise, frustrated by problems, debilitated by temptation, or intimidated by the devil. I'll keep running the race with my eyes on the goal, not the sidelines or those running by me. When times get tough, and I get tired, I won't back up, back off, back down, back out, or backslide. I'll just keep moving forward by God's grace. I', Spirit-led, purpose-driven and mission-focused, so I cannot be bought, I will not be compromised, and I shall not quit until I finish the race.

I'm a trophy of God's amazing grace, so I will be gracious to everyone, grateful for everyday, and generous with everything that God entrusts to me.

To my Lord and Savious Jesus Christ, I say: However, whenever, wherever and whatever You ask me to do, my answer in advance is Yes! Wherever You lead and whatever the cost, I'm ready. Anytime, anywhere, anyway. Whatever it takes Lord; whatever it takes! I want to be used by You in such a way, that on that final day I'll hear You say: "welldone, good and faithful servant! Come and share your master happiness!"

In the Presence of God: signed by Shirley Moy
This day: 7th November 2005
Scripture verse: Heb 12: 1-2

Holidays Mood... Blessed day

31th October 2005,

It's Monday afternoon. Tomorrow will be holidays- Deepavalli, then another 2 days Raya. But I still work- Mon and wednesday working, wheras others has been enjoying their holidays back hometown. Today slow, maybe coz today still holidays mood, so I don't really work well. Had lunch with Dr. Lee and Jia-Shean just now. It's good to catch up, and always good to be around those people highly motivated and systematic. Dr. Lee has always been my role model in work, even so with Jia-Shean. They potrayed a good steward and leadership in managing people and skills in management and organisation. Am just sharing with them about the difficulty in getting support from Management and consultants on the new services. Yeah, realise that it's all require a lot of effort to convince the management and sharing with them on the profit and advantages. Convicing them...to convince. That's something I need to learn, to let them know the importance, to share with them my passion and to let others see the purpose. That's a part of Management and leadership. Need to motivate self to go on, again to be positive, whatever happen..knowing that I'm still serving the God of the heaven and earth, and not of serving man alone. To please people, or to please God. Learning, but sometimes need to be wise. To be wise as serpent and innocent as dove. When is it I need to be wise, when is it I need to be innocent. A tough lesson to learn. I believe all those working will go through that. Just need to find passion in work, because that will be the only thing that draw us going, push us forward...go on, extra steps, going forward, even in the midst of falling, fall forward ad not backward.

Went to Ipoh on Fri- Kenneth's wedding. It's wonderful, can see so many joy surrounds the couples- joys that is reap after all the trials and challenges. Yeah, relationship, another chapter to go through in life. In every chapter and season of life- it's something God wants us to learn and to go on, a journey with God. During the wedding ceremony, they sing songs- Power of Your love and Come to the Father. It just stuck me each time tis 2 songs played in church. I remember vividly when both of us (Celina and me) sing this song in our daday's funeral. And now it's sang in wedding...it just reflect of the love of the Father- just being who you are, don't need to do much, just being who you are, and He still loves you. In times if joy, in times of laughter, God is enjoying all the moment with us. Praise God I didn't cry in the wedding. Each time the 2nd song sang...tears will be rolling down my cheeck, and heart will be aching- missing dad and feel so sad...yet this time of wedding, it's different feeling. I guess it's more of the positive note, and assurance of the journey with God. The journey to Ipoh has been a blessing, I manage to know Adeline and Andrew better with the sharings in the car, and sense the love and hospitality in Andrew's house. Then able to meet up Ms Chua and get to go around the Pharmacy and Famitah Hospital. People that is matter. Meet up with the ex-CA rian, seeing so many of them with family, childrens and married couples, tho' it's a bit different, with them- family and myself still single, yet can see that family and joyous face, remind me of CA-time. Meet up with Gavin, spend almost 2 hours in the Jusco Coffee-Bean, talking in the noisy environment...gee, it's very much refreshing, meeting up with friends that experience the love of God- encourage me to go on the journey wth God. After wedding, drive bck Penang with Ching-Shian. Enjoy the journey and chats with her through-out the journey. Well-spent time this holidays. Looking forward for the coming "Lifa-Games" camp organised by PCC. Yeah...hmmm..Holidays mood, waiting to go back. Bless this day, my Lord!

Quality Day 2005- Pharmacy 1st prize.

19th October 2005,

Wednesday- 5.30pm, waiting to go back- Still some small thing to settle, and waiting for a call. Wow, yesterday was superb. We won 1st Prize for QA. Last 2 yrs when I presented we only get 3rd Prize, now 1st..thanks to my 2 wonderful pharmacist. They're awesome! Praise God for them...good attitude, good personality, well discipline, and that make lesser stress for me:) Work is good, life is still. Overall- thanks God His hands in the workplace, learning each day to trust in Him, and let Him move through me...staff is behaving alright, noise level still high, but can't control much, they're not whole bunch of child that need tight supervision.

Yeah..another day...Praise the Lord for the day!

Human-human Relationship

15th October 2005,

Saturday afternoon- it's 2.30pm, should be going back by now but still working. Browsing thru' Pharmacy site for some general reading. Quite quiet. 2 staff working, lesser patinets, and hospital renovation is in-progress...can hear the knocking of walls.

Thanksgiving. As the subject on relationship. Relationship quarter has not been materialized last quarter. I don't meet up much of the members and frens as this time. Learning to treasure relationship. Knowing the importance of people in life. Without friends, life will not be tht interesting- iron sharpen iron- as learned in the Bible Study.

Today- thanksgiving items is for friends around me. Thank God for the circle of frens that I know of- from USM-CF to EPCC-ian, to GH-frens. Without them, I will not able to learn and go through such season of life. Has not been contacting Bee Leng for long. Tonite will be meeting up time. hope to have a good fellowship. Learn to be more openned in friendship, yet also not to try to imitate others, being yourself- yet gently accept the corrective words from friends. See thru' positive line...trying to be better. Learning to change not by own flesh...die to flesh, transformation of mind, renewing of mind. In the weakness, He replaced with strength. Stregth from above.... Thanks God for not letting me go astray beyond help. Some effort need to be made for change. Yes, indeed....

Positive- Thanksgiving each day...

14th October 2005,

Friday. We don't have Cell today. Tonite is Pastor Conference. Am in the hospital, waiting for time to pass, 7.30pm will meet the rest at Newlane for dinner, then will proceed for coffee time at Sega Fredo. Am not an outing and supper person. Today actually very tired, whole day already- tomorrow need to work, but well...since has been the one arranging, can't pull out last minute.

Today's blog about positivity. Last night had a chat with Celina, she mentioned on seeing things in positive way, stop complaining. I guess I have been this, keep on grumbling, never give thanks, always negative, that provide room for the devils to play a fool in the mind. Wher's the role of the Spirit? To be filled with Spirit?

I want to give thanks. So starting today, I want to use the blog to give thanks, one things each day to give thanks and praise to God on my life. Thanks God for my 2 pharmacists. Thanks God for providing this 2 helpers. Pray for God to bless them and work in the Department..., for them to learned and be blessed in this wrking environment.

Imagination and Negative Lies...

13th October 2005,

Thursday. October, so fast, almost year end. It's time to evaluate the year progress. Yr 2005 has been a year of testing. A year that my faith was challenged in many areas. The year where I'm facing a lot of discouragement and wondering of what life is all about. A year of exposition of the worldy challenge and pursued- a year of compromise, a year where I'm the furthest from God, a year of distance, and sighing of what's happening. A year full of emotional toils and sinful flesh-ruling. A year of offensive-ness, a rough year...lost focus.

God is the Seeker, He seek me out of the soils, out of the darkness, out of all the discouragements, He seeks, His Spirit calling me back. It's all depends, of the heart-issue. Things that has been identified to be up-rooted, challenge to make things right.

The Word of God continued to knock at the door of my heart. I know this is right, yet..it's so hard to take hold of it. Do not put down the shield of faith and let Satan take over. Stand up, position yourself in the position He placed you, to be the sons and daughter of God, the heirs of the Mighty One. Stand up, do not wander, do not let your mind linger around. There's not 'Grace' for imagination. Guard your heart and your thought with care. Whatever beautiful, whatever noble, whatever praiseworthy..think about such things. Trust Him, hold on dear to Him, step into the relationship with Him, Relationship of closeness where you can just called Him Abba-Father. Come on!

Going Home...after such long time

1st Oct 2005,

Saturday Morning. Reached hospital early. This time we need to punch in our attendance, can afford to be late, even for the HOD. We're using FingerPrint tagging, just starting today, heard a lot complaints from the staff on the eficiency and the position of the tagging. Pretty normal- any new implementation will normally receive bad response.

Today going back AS....after such long time. Mum has been alone in AS for a week. I guess I tend to work late when mum not around, and after work directly have dinner outside with frens. Comparing of staying home with mum, I think mum's absence contribute to my buzyness of life. Or else, if she's around, everything will be prepared on the table- dinner. No need to think of what to eat etc.

Last nite had buffet dinner with Cell members at Equatorial Coffee Garden. Relationship Quarter, to review what we learned? Honostly speaking, I didn't really learn anything. This doesn't mean Relationship Quarter not successful, probably my life schedule has not enable me to benefitted from it. My travelling schedule and also my confinement to home not enabling me to expose, and explore the relationship. Geee...how far I've lag-away. Next quarter will be on Mission. Eric brief us on the coming quarter, what we anticipate. Cheah Keat said it's too much activities, too activities-orientated. True in a sense, church filled up with many activities and program, but without activities and program to expand out from the inner circle of church will defit the purpose of church existance. Need balancing, God's church, His people, He will lead. No worries...

Whom I have in Heaven but You...

20th September 2005,

Tues morning- 10.15am to be exact. Has been a while did not write the blog. Need to get it moving, or else it'll disappeared and the habits of writing blog will just die down. Nothing much. Last 2 weeks has been a wonderful day, especially with Pas Sam's Sermon- Title: Sonship in Christ vs. Orphan's Spirit. It's powerful, a reminder of the condition that seems quite familiar- a change of attitude and the assurance of the love of God, the power and authority as the Son of the Most High God. How often we forgotten that, how often we act in an "Orphan-Spirit" as if we're so lacking, as if our heavenly Daddy not able to provide, as if we're been slave down by all the trials and concern of the world. How often we act as the brother of Prodigal Son, full of envy, insufficiency, inadequatecy, not knowing that all "these", all of the Father's possesion belongs to us.

Wed Nite we had a Late Nite Prayer. I went there late, coz helping Foong Ping (Relau Pharmacy) take care her shop. Wed Nite I cried...Joanna lead the Prayer, the Worship and the Prayer of repentance, of tuning our heart back to Him. I wonder why I can cried so easily during worship. Checking deep in my heart, am I loving You God...am I go higher, or lost somewhere? But with the assurance again- whichever state I am, God still won't want to let me go, He is persuing me higher, he take the initiative when i lost all the initiative. repentance is an ACT, not just a word of Sorry, it's an action and turning, moving out. Am I doing it?

Breakthrough Nite. I did not involved in Fasting. The week has been really tight, and I didn't fast. Yet, Praise God- Breakthrough Nite ministered well to the heart and soul of His people. Pas Solomon talks about religious spirit, about Fear, about God's wisdom, about fully trust Him with all we have. Simple message yet full of power. Many people slain in the Spirit, casting demon-possessed, boken in the Spirit.

Work has been okie. With 2 pharmacists in placed, things run pretty well. Just that staff noise still the same level, noisy and always excited. Medication Errors has improved. Keep it up! This week will be going KL for Malaysian Oncology Society Scientific Conference. Hope I can learn something new on Cancer Drugs. Another 2 more days will be the Daddy's Annivesary in Heaven. So fast, 2 years already- nothing much change, got new house, Mum stayed in, brother work so so hard, sis so far away from home. Daddy- how are you up there?? Miss Him, thinking about it make my heart so 'miss'.... He's in good hands, enjoying the splendor of Heavenly Blessings, Take heart Shirley, Take heart!

MSQH- We got it! Hurrayyy!!

10th September 2005,

Saturday, 12.44pm. Another few minutes to go back. MSQH is over...and we got high chance for 3 years accreditation. Praise God, it's like whole lots of burden lifted up from my shoulder, yet...a lot concerns need to be carry out, especially in maintaning the standard and achievement. Really tired, plan to take a day off on Monday, but got a meeting, so couldn't able to.

Mind has been blanko a while. It's all about work, new services to offer, training to be continued on- progressing. Cost to be reviewed, there are more to come. Visitation to be made. Cytotoxic Recons P&P need to be finalized before Dr. Leong come back from leave. What else can Pharmacy offer? Yeah..just need to leave it to God, take one thing at a time, be cool and steady.

Church, friends....Hmm, for this pass 2 weeks, has not been actively involved in church and fellowship with believers, only CG last night. Yeah, last nite CG has been good, good sharing on conflict and need for paradigm shift on the attitude and how to response to conflict. Conflict not only in church, but also in working place. How is the attitude to be? What the Word of God said regarding this issue? Good chat with Winnie. Can see her willingness to be mould in God's Word..and her developing trust and dependant on God. Andrew and Winnie has been faithfully attending CG and church, very encouraging. Life is quite static here. Had snack with Emmeline yesterday. Good chat- a reminder to move out of comfort zone, to do something, to make life interesting and more purposeful. To find purpose in life, in God....

MSQH Day-2

7 August 2005,

Wednesday morning. Yesterday 1st day of Accreditation. We got the Chief Surveyor- CEO of Fatimah Hospital and CEO of Sg Petani Hospital coming to our Department to interview us. They're pretty strict this time, dig really deep into our P&P and our meeting minutes...most of the documents. But at least, praise God, I prepared and our QA and documentation are up to date. Geee..thot yesterday will be over, but not yet...today more to come. Later 1pm I'll be having interview with the 2 surveyors, with Dr. Ramasamy. I'm shivering. Don't know what to expect and don't really know what to prepare.

Life has been real busy and stressful, not of the load work, but it's more of the planning and the overload of stff running in my mind: wht's the outcome like? How's the staff doing? Can they answer the quiries? Can we pass? What will happen after MSQH? Am I doing right thing with Bulletin telling the consultants we're going into CDR? Oh..thinking about it make me fearful- more of expectation, from management, and staff. Will I overload the staff?

Lord, need Your wisdom. Wisdom from above. The peace of God that surpasses all understanding of man, to gurad my heart, my MIND in Christ. In Christ alone, Thank you!

MSQH drawing Near...4 more days to go!

1st September 2005,

Thurs. After Merdeka holidays, quite slack! Wow, so fast, don't realise that another 4 more days for MSQH. Am I prepared? Not pretty sure. A lot things, need to familiar to know how to answer the surveyors; 7 of them, 4 doctors, 1 matron, 1 patologist, 1 CEO of one of the hospital. Don't know who will be interviewing Pharmacy department. Prayfully will be a better one- pray for favour, pray for grace.

After MSQH- another huge project- CDR, am not so familiar- blur*_* Need wisdom, need grace. despite the busyness schedule and plans and dateline to meet, I need to learn not to forget things so dear in my life:- family, friends, and people that has life. That they are much more important than those datelines and those static things. People is life, and they are precious- I need to learn to appreciate them, to spend time, to smile more.

I guess I havenot been mingle around with my staff. Even my Pharmacists- we did not really talk much personally- maybe I should do something about it. Well, pressure up the shoulder. Need to laid it down, not bearing my own, knowing that I am not serving man, but God. Not my name, not my reputation, but His Name, His Name be glorified. Just do your best- God do the rest, Relax...cool down, let go and let God. Might by might, not by power but by His Spirit. His Spirit empowered. You decreased, He increased!

Conversation with God

1st Sept 2005,

Discover this quite some time ago. It's good- better save it in my blog for future reference:)

I Asked God to ...............

I asked God to take away my bad habits.

God said, It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.

God said, His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary

I asked God to grant me patience.

God said, Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness.

God said, I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.

God said, Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.

God said, You must grow on your own! , But I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.

God said, I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.

God said...Ahhhh, finally you thinking right.

Trust in God.

An eventful Sunday

28th August 2005,

Today is 1st September but I am blogging in what happen last Sunday. Yeah, eventful Sunday. Had Dim-Sum with Angie and Ai Ling, then proceed to City Bayview Hotel for Protopic launching. Stay there chit chatting with Kenneth and Coring after lunch, then thinking of going Gurney for shopping. On my way there, sms-ed Angie asked her whether want to come but she not coming. The way to Gurney a lot of cars- so I scraped my plan for shopping, and move on to Western Road- planning to go cemetery. On my way, Mum called, I pick up the phone, and talking on the phone while driving. As usual...did not use hand-free;) then on my way turn to cemetery, I saw the police behind me also trying to turn in the cemetery...Oh Man! I switched my h.p. and throw it away....

Then the police stop my at the juncture to Cemetery. We 'chat' for almost half an hour. I asked him to give me another chance, not to summon me, he keep arguing that working in hospital a lot money. Private-work a lot money, in a way hinting to me to bribe. He said, "Jadi- macam mana?" Geee....I said "Tak Tau la, saya minta tolong maaf satu kali, kalau encik tak mau tolong- tak apalah, saya bayar" Then I think I do mention 'agama'- "agama Kristen tidak boleh tolong encik"..something like that. Oh Man! What am I saying...he will surely summon me, he even scared me that it will cost about RM150, or if more RM 300...hmm..what to do?? I am so tempted to just give RM50 and chao...but I can't do it. Remember pas message- pastor mentioned he's a Christian and can't bribe, then the police let him go...so maybe I can do the same, but if he summon me, then he summon-lah...

Praise God, the police finally said- "pergi", pass back all my IC and Driving licence. I can't stop thanking him. He must be thinking what kinda of this little girl like me, jumping excitedly thanking him:) Haha...then I drive to see daddy...after such long time. Didn't even bring anything- no flowers. Bring my heart and soul and mind there. Miss daddy. Then after a while, drive out from cemetery- the police still there..hmm...what happen ah? I give him a sign of 'bye bye' and go off....hope he won't submit my particular and summon me. i think won't lar..

This precious lesson taught me not to talk on-the-phone and drive. And also to not compromise in the standrad of the world. Thank God for all.